thinking...

Hi Diary, its a saturday night... wat's everyone doing? wat's everyone busy with?

i'm sitting in front of the com blogging.. i wanted to catch up with some frens but i din know who to ask.. and i din know where to go.. so i thot juz stay home...

my health has been really poor lately.. on 2 days mc last week, down with fever and cough and flu.. and this wk its back again.. sigh.. now i really see the importance of being in good health.. being able to do the things that i want to...

i guess i'm too caught up with work.. i got to learn to take things in my stride and be more at ease with things.. my sis said i'm trying too hard to be nice.. and i agree... maybe i shld be more firm and protect myself.. hv been thinking of work almost every night lately.. which is why i dun get a gd slp and my health starts to give way.. prob i need some mental healing.. well.. i need to learn how to take things easy... with more people joining my team, i'm starting to feel threatened... prob i need to change that mentality abit.. i thot of wat lye said about us being v selfless.. i think it is true.. we have been brought up to put others before self.. which is why we find it so hard to reject others.. for me at least.. and in the process make myself unhappy.. yes i shld do something bout it..

my sister is in aust right now.. juz saw an email from her.. glad to know that she is having fun rite there.. i really admire her courage to go on this trip.. the way she made it possible, her determination.. something that i can nv do..i hope this trip turns our memorable for u.. great job sis!

i was looking at some travel sites earlier.. and i feel like taking a break to go on a holiday... not with a big group.. i wanna go on free and easy... i even thought of going all by myself.. juz to a place to relax and see new things, new people.. but i think i am scared of being alone in a room at nite hee...

i've been thinking of wat i really want to do with my life... it seems like besides work there's nothing really much to look forward to... other than driving lessons... i've been living in this self built wall for a long time i think.. and i'm aware that it is by choice that i shut pple out.. sometimes i juz wanna make myself miserable i dunno y.. haha.. ok enough for now...