i wanna run away from reality........

Hi Diary~~~ i'm feeling really miserable... dun really know wat's wrong with me.. feel so unhappy with the whole world~! i dunno who to speak to.. dun wanna trouble anyone... everyone has their own troubles.. i dun wanna make someone feel miserable listening to me... this is when i thot of U~!

exams are coming soon... next wk..... but i seem to be unprepared.. i feel like i'm so stressed up~! cant slp properly.. and the thot of wat happens aft exams... grrrr.......

the new yr is coming soon... the prob is i dun think my family can have a nice new yr... ahhhh.... wat am i toking? i'm trying to say that i'm really Miserable~! i cant have a proper hols.. cant enjoy my hols in peace.. if i dun work and juz play.. i will juz be spending money and i wun feel gd even if i play.. if i work.. i cant enjoy~! no matter wat.. i have to work~! i need Money~! my family needs money~ i feel so sad when i think of all these!!!!!!!!!!!! my bro said to my mum... 'hey mum.. we've been poor since i was in p5..' he's in sec 2 now.. how many yrs? well i'm not complaining bout being poor.. its juz that we are in such a sorry state!!!!!!!! especially now that my dad's not working~!!! my family's financial situation is a problem that i dun wanna remind myself of.. whenever i think of it... i feel so miserable that i need to release something to make myself better.......... Tears~! i wanna run... run... away from this uncontrollable fate... away from this practical and pragmatic world... away from all troubles.. stay free and light......... the onli way to seek this release is............ Death~....... i'm not really That suicidal now.. cos of the thot that i haven lived My life the way i wan it.. but goodness.. Tell me how long i can Take this??? my family is in debts cos of i can say honestly... my father... in thousands~! goodness.... we as children has to think of ways to repay his debts!!! oh man.. allow me to be vulgar here... F the world~! its a Misery....

i think i can go one typing and typing but my hands cant keep up with my thots... thanks for listening Diary........

Life Is A Misery~!