achieving........

Hi Diary, have been quiet for some time... like this new layout.. looks so clean and fresh... been wanting to update for a long time but always cant get down to doing it.. shall juz do it now.. cos there wun be a best time anyway... haha...

hmmm the whole of march went by quickly... major thing was that finally fyp is cleared~! will always rem the last 2 days before the deadline... how we did til the wee wee hrs of the morning.... editing and making sure everything turned out rite... really muz acknowledge my grp mates for the perseverance and efforts they put in... they hv also been v understanding as well... we had really a great time working together and i am glad and proud to tell myself that i did not make the wrong choice... no matter wat the grade is.. i am proud of the work we hv done!

hmmm aft fyp was some celebration for me.. the wk aft that i think i skipped some lessons and stayed away from pple as a form of isolation... i juz thot that i needed time for myself... and i wanna be away from the rest of the world by staying at home.. anyway these time went by quickly and its now the end of march~!

last entry i mentioned bout attending this lesson in formal wear... well i wld say that aft 4 lessons.. i think she is not that bad aft all... her teaching style is v facilitating.. which really triggered lots of thots and i think i got alot out of her lessons compared to others... amazingly i did not doze off for a single moment in the four hrs of lessons~! and i was so alert and i really think the class was fruitful... well.. i still dun like the proj for this mod.. with a big proj grp with differing views... it seems to be so tough coming to conclusions......

hmmm nothing exciting that happened but one very big thing that made me really happy~! that is i am going to achieve my goal~!!!! went to natas fair and booked myself a trip to yunnan in may~! its really really nice.. i cant believe this is happening~! its juz so exciting~! going with my sec sch buds... something that i been wanting to do with them~! rem that i missed a trip to australia during sec sch days... i felt so sad whenever they tok bout it.. now there is a chance for us to go on a trip finally~! it is really symbolic for me since it is a first time experience... i really hope that everything goes well and i will be happy to update bout the trip when the time comes~!

this thing really made me more sure and confident of myself... it proves that i can achieve goals if i really set myself to.. and lately i feel a sense of... i dun really know how to say it... i feel quite proud of myself in a way.. oh yes.. probably narcisstic is the word haha... i also realised that i have been neglecting myself for who i really am.. and currently i am acknowledging myself... that i am not really that bad... haha where is this going... i dunno how to put it into words... juz proud of myself to be simple~

been thinking thru lately... i think the training really made a diff to me.. i told lye that i wld nv hv made this trip possible if i din attend the training... the impact of the training may be different for everyone.. but i am glad that i took alot of things out with me... something that works for me... lately i am more aware of wat i wan in terms of relationships with pple... i think lye is right.. we shld mix with more positive pple... aft all wat is the pt of having negative pple ard u who keeps criticising and think that u cannot do it? such conversations serve no purpose in moving someone forward... humans need encouragement and pple to believe them that they can shine...

toking bout relationships with others... i always neglected my jc clique... but come to think of it.. i quite enjoy their company and in fact they are the postive pple that i shld be mixing with... instead of some pple that is always with me but is always negative... making me feel so put down and useless... and aft rethinking i feel that this is not wat i wan... so i am going to do something bout it... haha.. not sure if awareness is a gd thing cos with awareness comes a choice of wat i can do to change or accept things... in any case.. i am glad that i realised this... cos i can really choose to be who i really am and be acknowledged for all the gd that i am.. of cos i welcome criticisms.. however i think its not necessary that i hv to be made to think of myself as not being gd enuff most of the time.. in any case thanks to the pple whom made me aware of this... becos of them i am able to tell wat i really wan....

Is Awareness A Good Thing?