rojak~

Hi Diary.. haven updated u for quite some time... today my entry gonna be messy cos i have no focus til now.. hence the title.. haha...

hmmm sch has been bz lately.. the final lap of a degree course with the biggest obstacle course called the final yr proj.. fortunately for me... i juz handed in my first draft.. though i predict that drastic changes have to be made.. still feel relieved that we see some form of report now... then its so irritating that everything is clashing during that wk... assignments presentations and quiz... argh... and yes.. reminds me of that somebody who's gonna take us for the remaining lessons of this mod that i totally hate... sigh~~ definitely not something welcoming.. like wat i told corn... we gonna be practising how to roll eyes during class... LOL...

as for frens... hmmm still feel v happy to have met two gd frens... stuck together for these few sems... great time together going thru all the shit and making fun of each other during tough times... they really made life so much easier for me... i thot i will go thru uni without making any gd frens... but i think they proved me wrong... i will surely miss them when we grad... wow... my thoughts are drifting to convo day hee... and i always hv a fear for too looking forward to something.. cos there were so many times when i was so excited bout some events and something happened to spoil it... so i really pray that nothing goes wrong and i can grad smoothly... *big grins*

wat comes aft the word grad is employment... and i haven secured one still.... sigh~ i dun expect much but i really need a job~! and again i pray that i get a gd one... as for the definition of gd... hmmm i dun really know yet... guess i haven put gd thots into this yet...

as i think thru... hmmmm some frens maybe wun last for me.... oh man i dun really know how to start on this... juz think that i really miss my sec sch frens suddenly... the kind of peace and calmness i experience with them.. compared to my other cliques they are a real serious lot... somehow miss that kind of serenity... its quite saddening that all of us are bz with our own things lately.. not much of contact and updating each other... this yr new yr we din even make it to meet up... sigh~ i hope things improve... nonetheless i guess that's juz the way our frenships work... keeping each other in our hearts.. at least that is true for me....

i think i shld really start deleting some of my older entries... some things are juz not worth remembering... so saddening to relive those memories again... looking at the dates i juz realised that its coming to 2 years since my first entry.... time really really flies... i guess i shld juz be more fwd looking haha~

this cny was peaceful for me as usual.. but i prefer it this way too... and i really think its v generous of it was really generous of 2nd uncle and aunt to stock up so much things in their fridge for the steamboat for all our relatives... i believe those balls and stuff dun come cheap~! and of cos its so nice that all our cousins are together... unfortunately din get to go for the movie on the first day though.. it was really a big gathering on the third day where all cousins and aunts and uncles and some extended relatives gather at my grandma's place for my grandpa's death anniversary.. i think its really amazing... yeah it was awful when my grandpa passed away at that period.. but yrs hv gone by and now it becomes a gathering annually with smiley faces and crowded chattings.. dun really know how to describe it... and yeah as for my cousins... its sad that we only see each other once every year but i am glad that all of us dun really feel awkward with each other.. except for 2 of my cousins.. siblings.. somehow they always appear secretive haha~ well... cant do much bout that though... and sometimes i wonder.. when my grandma is gone.. will we still hv such gatherings?

the other day i was getting some new yr cards when i saw this old man using a walker... and walking so slowly u barely see him lift his feet... all i can see is his wobbly feet trembling and struggling to walk... and looking up at his face.. it was so familiar... i rem seeing him during my sec sch days... so active at the senior citizens' corner at my void deck... walking ard grooming the plants at the corner... and this is really a far cry from the way he looks now... i felt quite overwhelmed by this encounter and i thot how helpless life can be... it juz had juz an impact on me that made me feel down for some time... sigh~ sometimes i really wonder wat does life bring me...

think i shall stop here for now... i realised that i spent close to an hr writing this much... haha... will update u again soon....

What Does Life Bring Me~!